There's a new herding dog in heaven...

Lily has finally decided she needs to rest. She was 14 years old and spent her years watching over the people (& cats) she loved. She was put down this afternoon after enjoying a hamburger for breakfast, eggs for lunch and a smothering of pets all day. 

The family spent time reminiscing our favorite memories:

- watching her box with Sammy, poke Nora, beg Cassey to play, smell Ki-En's tail and break-up fights between JackJack & Puffy... aka, be a Nana

- When Liky 1st saw snow and ran around frantically flipping snow up with her snout trying to catch it in her mouth. I'm happy to say she kept this habit through her 14th year. It was always a treat to take her on a walk after fresh snow. 

- not leaving Olivia's side for 48 hours when she was home sick with the flu

- flipping her bowl over with her snout when we "forgot" to include wet food, then looking at us, making eye contact and letting out a disgruntled snort

- how proud she was guarding her block of the lake of the isles

- when Susan took "Miss Lily-pad" for a walk only using twine as a leash 

- when Jared met her, she didn't bark but curled up around him as he proceeded to de-thatch years of dead fur

- going on her last adventure to the baseball field to launch rockets with the family. She was so happy being with the people she loved 

- receiving a text from Clara asking if Lily had an injury. Lily supposedly did a quick jump combined with a high pitched yip when she saw Clara. I informed Clara that just meant Lily really liked her. She did the same thing whenever she saw Jillian after a few days apart. 

- when Lily refused to look at me after leaving Jillian's house after a really good week

- when JackJack curled up on Lily's back for comfort during a car ride. Lily didn't want to ruin it and sat frozen for 45 minutes. 

And while I'm reminiscing, I'd be remiss not to give special thanks to Clara and Jillian for giving me back my first girl. They helped me remember how much I love dogs, and how special a soul Lily was. When Clara asked "if Lily was a nip or push herder" was a turning point for our relationship, providing much needed understanding of Lily's core behavior. Watching Jillian rehabilitate Lily with 3rd eye kisses and butt scratches proved how lucky I was to find such a special person to spend my days with. 

Lily, my girl, you are very deeply loved and will be missed. XOXO

Bedtime Stories...

Tonight, the girls & I just finished the Harry Potter series. What started innocently as a one-time bedtime reading will likely turn out to be one of my fondest fatherhood memories.

As Sarah consoled me, the end of a good book is like a death. I truly feel like that now. I find myself not only feeling the closure of the story, but also the loss of the girl's childhood era. When we started, Isa and Lucy were roomates, going to bed at 7:30, demanding a story each night (like children). Now, while they enjoy it when Sarah or I read to them, they finish each night reading books to themselves and generally turn lights off in their own rooms around 9pm.

Below are some random thoughts upon the end of an era.

• The Prisoner of Azkaban: Favorite ending in the series. I remember reading the last few chapters straight through with a few tears having trailed down my cheek. I don't think the girls noticed that time; however, they did take notice of my shaky voice tonight.
• "You're Peeves": Lucy's answer to which character I most reminded them. I expected Hagrid, or possibly a Sirius or Dobby, or maybe even a Voldemort. Her answer caught me completely off guard & still makes me laugh.
• "Norbort... you know... Hagrid's dragon.": or any other answer Lucy would spout when either Isa or I asked a question. We quickly realized that her answers weren't lucky or sporadic. Her solid memory quickly earned the chant "Olivia, who loves Trivia".
• "Press left trigger, hold 'B', then aim at the boulder": or any of the other directions Isa provided Lucy when playing Lego Harry Potter. I saw bits of myself in watching the girls solve puzzles most of this summer.
• "We sold the house": Isa reminded me of a night when we were reading last winter. Sarah asked if she could interrupt really quick and passed along that news. It's amazing to think how much everyone has grown since we started. Isa was just finishing 1st grade when we started... now she has earrings... and Lucy's about to finish 1st grade... and she can read the earlier Harry Potter books to herself.
• Snape's Chocolate Frog Trading Card: Our bookmark from page 1. It was a gift Isa received from a theme birthday party. Isa was the only 1st grader who didn't know a thing about Mr. Potter. What's even more perfect, I think she threw the chocolate frog away... everyone knows (well Isa didn't at the time) that that cards are what everyone is after anyway. But Snape, come on... who wants a trading card of Severus (tear).
• We need to start again... for Jack: The girls started saying this during the summer when we just finished 'The Order of the Phoenix". We figured out Lucy was 5 when we started reading, so mark your calendars for summer 2012. Here's hoping Isa won't be 'too old' when we do start up again.
• Seeing Isa Blush when Harry 'snogged': First, I often changed words or added explanatory sentences because the girls were young when we started reading. This was organic, helped the girls understand, and is a secret they never knew. Related, I remember telling the girls about Percy kissing a girl in an early book with little to no reaction. I also remember smiling as I watched Isa's curled-toed glee when Ron asked Fluer to the ball (how silly)... and smiling as she buried her head in the pillow when Harry kissed Cho (Lucy thought it was grody). By the end, I still said kiss instead of snog... and I capped how much snogging was going on (only little pecks here & there), but by the end, both Isa & Lucy were reacting in earnest to the romantic passages. Good-bye, my little girls ;-(
• Our talks on death, love, fear, friendship, revenge, etc: One thing I truly cherished about these books is the opportunity they created to talk to the girls about some pretty adult concepts. About how death shouldn't be feared. While it hurts, it's a natural part of life. If unchecked, fear leads to poor decisions and loss. Instead, embracing death as natural helps lead to friendship and love.

Speaking of loss, I've been painfully aware that the end was approaching. In retrospect, I unconsciously delayed readings to extend the experience, to the point we had to re-check this last book 3 different times. I knew this was coming... the end... and with it would come some sense of loss. I've been cognisant to savor the experiences, but, now that it's a reality, I find myself effected. I feel a pain.

As I finished the last chapter, I found myself doing silly things to extend the experience. I read the biographies of the author & illustrator. I fumbled with the Snape-bookmark, unsure what to do with it now. Before, I always had Isa pick a special place to store the bookmark while we waited to check-out the next book.

I know I should find a new series of books to read to them, but it wouldn't be as organic or pure an experience. I also know that we could start over with Jack next summer, but that hurts the most, because I'm not sure Isa will participate or care. Lucy will be interested, but by that time she could easily be the one reading the story to Jack.

I know how lucky I was to share this type of experience with the girls. I find myself focusing on that. How happy it made me & my girls. I see them sitting, so little, giggling at the jokes and on edge during the action... and I find myself smiling... even as the tears roll down my cheeks.

Not a creature was stirring...

nuff said...

Oh College...

While at training this week, our schedule allowed for a brief respite at a Chicagoland watering hole. To my surprise, their upcoming schedule featured an old college band, Mike & Joe...


This brought back so many happy memories...

• Chanting "Joe, Joe, Joe... You R-O-C-K! Mike ya suck" at various 'concerts' over 4 years of schooling. The goal of getting an entire crowd to join this chant was the brainchild of either Cush or Maloney, but became a pasttime shared by Shaggy, Weaver, my brother and I.




• Can you sign our CDs: During the battle, after one of their shows, we approached Joe while he was on break. We told him we were actually really big fans. He kinda smiled. He asked some questions about why we started the chants. We asked if he wanted to sign our CDs. Joe's smile instantly faded. He quickly turned around to the trunk where we had just borrowed the CDs from had been opened. It was closed and looked untouched. Without proof, he refused. Our response, "Real cool, Joe."




• The Taco Bell Encounter: Sometime after 2am, after a show Rob & I had attended, who joins the Taco Bell queue but Mike & Joe... directly behind Robbie and me no less. We had started the chants as usual. When we turned around in our beer assisted euphoria, there was a brief memont of realization. We were like dogs who had just caught the car they were chasing... unaware what to do with our prize. They had the look of children being placed in a dentist chair. To both our surprise, we spent the lengthy queue having a pleasant conversation. They were about to drive the night to farmaid. We knew some people in common. Turns out they found our schtick funny (kinda). Oh, college and your may pleasant surprises.




• Theta Chi Envy: This is likely the moment that endeared the band to my heart. Maloney & I were on Christmas break back in Fort Wayne. We ended up going to C-street with a few Purdue classmates. One guy was a hipster from the Purdue branch of Theta Chi. On the way, he mentioned how 'in' he was with the band because of their shared fraternal love. When we walked in, the band did take notice of us and mentinoed that some fans from Purdue had walked in. Our friend beamed... until Mike & Joe asked how Maloney & I were doing.




• Play something from the Wedding Singer: After the cubs game where I got my Cubs fleese, a lonely cab ride from the ball park, and some payback... Fran, Weaver and the Southside crew took me to a bar. Many years after college, far away from home, Fran pushed me out of a cab to find Michelanjelo (Mike & Joe's stint under a different name... think Prince) playing. To my surprise, the band recognized me again. To ease some of my pain, or to induce more, I asked them to play something from the Wedding Singer soundtrack. Unfortunately, they didn't know any songs. Not disuaded, I continued to ask for the next 3 hours. Some habits die hard.




• Best Christmas Present Ever: A few years after college, Robbie was eager awaiting my opening of his Christmas present. As I proceeded, it became evident why. Here in my possession was the best present ever... a framed, signed, Mike & Joe concert poster. Rob shared that he stayed true to our relationship with the band. He had taken the poster off the wall. It wasn't an easy task, it took him a few posters to get one off in one piece. He then approached Mike and Joe asking them to sign this for his brother. They looked disdainfully at the poster Robbie had 'procured', but then signed it as follows...

Well that was fast...

This is going well...

My 360 has been hard at work. Not only did it arrive at the service center today, it's already started the repair process (cough... cough... scrapyard). Should be just a few more weeks. By the way, for those of you who may have been thinking I was some sort of pathetic addict... would an addict have already bought 3 games while his system is in disrepair... no, a crazy person would have ignored the insane sales that were going on... STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!

In a subtle attempt for this blog's title to yield a dual meaning, my fitness plans are still on track. Since this past Saturday, when I couldn't stand my own excuses anymore, I've ran 3 times with no pain (2 miles; 1.5 miles; 3 miles) and lifted 3 times. I've tried cutting back on fast food (no... no... nothing crazy; Taco Bell is still my friend... for now) and started drinking lots of water. I've also started flossing.

I think I've settled on a regimine. Just need to create a tracking table and think of another crafty blog title. So much to do...